Mlife Church lead pastor Mwangi Mukami has opened up about his personal journey, saying he is learning to embrace his identity while navigating relationships, public expectations and the challenges of being judged primarily through his sexuality.
Mukami, who has publicly spoken about being bisexual and has shared aspects of his relationship with his boyfriend online, said his journey has forced him to reconsider long-held beliefs about truth, generosity and the boundaries he sets with other people.
In a statement shared publicly, the pastor said living authentically requires discernment, arguing that people must learn to distinguish wisdom from mere information and genuine concern from what he described as misplaced or harmful judgement.
“I am learning to live my truth requires a certain kind of doubt about truth itself,” Mukami said, adding that he was learning to differentiate between people who genuinely value him and those who benefit from his difficulty in saying no.
He also reflected on his personality, describing himself as both generous and a people pleaser. According to Mukami, the two traits may appear similar but are driven by different motivations.
“Generosity gives from freedom. People pleasing gives from fear,” he said.
Mukami said breaking away from the desire to please everyone has been difficult, but he now believes establishing personal boundaries is necessary for his growth.
The pastor also addressed how people perceive him, saying some friends focus exclusively on his strength while others define him almost entirely by his bisexuality.
He said the first group expects him to remain strong even when he is struggling, while the second reduces his identity to his sexuality despite his other roles and achievements.
Mukami pointed to his life as a father of four children and his two decades of public and community service, saying these aspects of his life are sometimes overlooked by people who have already formed opinions about him.
“Both deny my humanity. One turns me into a fortress. The other turns me into a sacrilege,” he said.
His remarks highlighted the tension he experiences between being expected to remain resilient and being judged through a single aspect of his identity.
Mukami urged people who are accustomed to being the strongest individuals in their circles to recognise that strength does not eliminate the need for care, support and vulnerability.
He also encouraged people to remove themselves from environments where their dignity is repeatedly undermined.
The pastor concluded by emphasising that people can support others while also needing support themselves.
“We can carry others and still need to be carried. We can be strong and still need somewhere soft to land,” he said, adding that people should be recognised in their entirety rather than reduced to one part of their identity.