Credit:Ivan Melniko
Raising children in today’s fast-changing social environment remains one of the most complex responsibilities for many Kenyan parents, often requiring a delicate balance between discipline, emotional understanding, and consistency.
A Kenyan mother has sparked conversation online after sharing a deeply personal parenting experience that began with a painful letter from her young son but ended in a heartwarming reflection years later.
Posting anonymously in a popular Facebook group for parents, the woman recalled how her son, then aged nine, once wrote her a long letter accusing her of not loving him and mistreating him.
The emotional note ended with a dramatic line: he had “gone to the shamba,” referring to a nearby farm.
“Some years ago when my teen was 9yrs old he wrote me a very big and long letter claiming I didn’t love him and how he felt I was mistreating him,” she shared.
“By the end of the letter he said, ‘mum I have gone to the shamba’ a shamba that was near our house.”
Despite the distressing message, the mother chose not to panic or rush to look for him. She said she understood his moods and decided to give him space.
When the boy eventually returned home, she confronted him about the letter, but he reportedly had no explanation for what he had written.
“Well, I could sense the moods he had and I decided not to go look for him at the shamba,” she explained.
“When he came back, I asked him why he wrote the letter and he had nothing to say.”
Instead of changing her approach, the mother stood firm. She told her son that her parenting style was intentional and that emotional threats would not influence how she raised him.
According to her, that moment became a turning point in their relationship.
“I made it clear to him that my style of parenting was the best for him and no amount of threats would make me change the way I had chosen to bring him up,” she stated.
Years later, the same boy—now on the verge of adulthood and awaiting his national ID—has a completely different view. The mother shared that her son often tells her she is the “best mum,” appreciating her consistency and presence throughout his upbringing.
“We are here today waiting for an ID and he always reminds me that I am the best mum because I have always been there for him,” she said.
She, however, remains humble about her parenting, admitting she has flaws and continues to learn each day.
In a lighter moment, she recounted how her son recently asked when she plans to remarry, jokingly suggesting he might be looking forward to having more independence.
“Of course I know I am not the best since I have so many flaws and every day is a day of surprises,” she added.
“The other day he actually asked when I am planning to move on and remarry and I knew he already wants his freedom of staying alone.”
The mother revealed she has kept the letter all these years and hopes to one day share it with him when he gets married, as a reminder of how far they have come.
“I still have the letter, by God’s grace when he decides to marry, I will hand over the letter to him tucheke pamoja,” she said.
Her message to fellow parents was clear: there is no universal manual for raising children. Each parent must choose what works best—whether it is discipline, open conversation, or seeking professional help.
“Yes, parenting has no manual, you know your children better and you know what’s good for them. Kama ni kiboko tumia, kama ni kuongea, ongea, kama ni counseling, mpeleke,” she advised.
The story has resonated widely, with many parents relating to the challenges and unpredictability of raising teenagers in modern Kenya.