Photo used for illustration purposes only. Credit: Ake Ngiamsanguan
In a society where gender and sexuality are often narrowly defined, many individuals silently navigate identities that do not fit conventional norms.
Social media and online support groups have increasingly become spaces where such personal struggles are shared, revealing the emotional challenges faced by those living outside traditional gender expectations.
A 25-year-old man recently shared his story anonymously in the Facebook group Mbaki and Mbariki Movement, detailing a life shaped by both physical transformation and deep personal uncertainty.
Born with female physical features, he began developing male characteristics around the age of 15, including facial hair and a deepening voice, while his body never fully aligned with traditional male or female markers.
“I am a man physically… was born with female features but at the age of 15 in Form 2 I developed male features. I grew beards and my voice deepened… breasts didn’t develop,” he wrote.
His father, seeking to align his legal identity with his appearance, changed his birth certificate and moved him to a boys’ school far from home, selling the family land in the process.
Despite living publicly as a male, he continues to feel a connection to his female anatomy.
“I still remember I had a pussy… my ID reads I am a man but inside I’m a lady,” he admitted. He described the isolation and confusion that has followed him into adulthood:
“Do I belong to this world? I feel attracted to men… I fell okay only in men’s company.”
He also shared fears about intimacy, noting, “I once told a guy I’m in love with him and he said he was OK with that… I fear meeting him because I have never told anyone this except my dad and mum… I don’t feel okay discussing this with them.”
Medical and psychological experts explain that experiences like his can arise from intersex conditions or complex gender identity development.
They stress that support networks, counseling, and safe spaces for discussion are critical for emotional and physical well-being.
Questions about sexuality, relationships, and reproductive health can be addressed safely with professional guidance.
The young man concluded with a plea that reflects the universal human need for understanding: “Is there a remedy for me here or was I created to suffer alone?” His