Wycliffe Oparanya’s son, Ian Oparanya, has triggered a fresh debate about the hidden struggles of growing up in large polygamous families, arguing that what many people consider a blessing can sometimes become a source of lifelong dependence and rivalry.
Ian made the remarks while reflecting on the large family of Kakamega Senator Boni Khalwale.
However, he was quick to clarify that his comments were not an attack on Khalwale or his family, but his broader view of polygamous households, including the family he comes from.
“When I saw Khalwale’s big family, I thought to myself, ‘people think that coming from big families is a blessing,’” Ian said.
According to him, large polygamous families can sometimes create a powerful hierarchy centred around the father, with children continuing to depend on him even after becoming adults.
“Most of the time it’s a curse, especially the polygamous ones,” he said.
Ian argued that the father can become the most influential figure in such a family, controlling access to resources, recognition and opportunities.
“In this system, the most powerful man who is the father creates a system where everybody has to depend on him. Even if they empower you, it’s usually in a way that you are still under him,” he said.
He further claimed that competition for the father's attention can become one of the defining characteristics of such families.
“Then in these families, all the kids are usually fighting for the attention and validation of this one man,” Ian said.
In one of the most striking parts of his remarks, Ian suggested that some children can remain dependent on their fathers well into adulthood as they compete for recognition within the family.
“In most of these families you will find 50-year-olds who have nothing, just depending on their fathers,” he claimed.
Ian also advanced his own theory about succession in powerful families, arguing that one child may eventually break away from the established family structure and pursue an independent path.
He described such a child as someone who refuses to spend their life seeking the father's approval and instead forges their own identity.
“This one in the family is usually hated the most—and this one is usually the actual heir,” Ian said.
To illustrate his argument, Ian invoked the late former Prime Minister Raila Odinga, whom he described as the most prominent figure in the Odinga family because of his willingness to chart an independent political path.
“This is why Raila was the greatest in the Odinga family because he was the only one who was fierce enough to choose his own path,” Ian said.
He further claimed that former Siaya Senator Oburu Oginga, whom he described as his father's heir, was now benefiting from Raila’s legacy.
Ian concluded by stressing that his comments should not be reduced to a criticism of Khalwale.
“Please note: I am talking about all polygamous families, including the one I am in. I am not talking about Khalwale’s family only,” he said.