A Kenyan-born nurse and entrepreneur based in the United States has sparked conversation online after sharing a candid account of social life abroad, describing a culture marked by privacy, independence, and, at times, deep isolation.
Nafula Sharleen, speaking in a mix of English and Swahili, said many immigrants are often unprepared for the social realities of living in the U.S., particularly for those residing alone.
Nafula Sharleen, speaking in a mix of English and Swahili, said many immigrants are often unprepared for the social realities of living in the U.S., particularly for those residing alone.
According to her, the experience can be “dry” and isolating, especially in urban apartment settings where neighbors rarely interact.
“Huku jirani hakubongeshi mtu wangu… wasee wanavalue private life,” she said, noting that in many middle- to high-income neighborhoods, casual greetings and social engagement with neighbors are uncommon.
She contrasted this with African settings, where community interaction is more frequent and socially expected.
Sharleen highlighted extreme cases to illustrate the consequences of such isolation, referencing reports of individuals whose deaths went unnoticed for extended periods.
She cited one case of a man whose body reportedly remained undiscovered in his apartment for years due to automated bill payments and lack of close social ties.
While her remarks drew attention for their stark portrayal, Sharleen emphasized that the same environment also fosters a high level of independence.
“Unaeza ishi alone bila kubonga na relative ama friends,” she said, adding that individuals can sustain themselves without relying on extended family support systems common in Africa.
She pointed to the absence of “black tax” — a term widely used in Africa to describe financial obligations toward family members — as a defining difference.
In the U.S., she said, parents are primarily responsible for raising their children, but once they reach adulthood, they are expected to become financially independent.
“In many cases, once you turn 18, unajipanga,” she explained, noting that some young adults pay rent even while living in their parents’ homes.
Despite her observations on social isolation, Sharleen maintained that personal choices still shape individual experiences.
She said she actively participates in social events and has avoided the loneliness she described.
Her remarks have resonated with many Kenyans online, reflecting broader discussions about cultural adjustment, diaspora life, and the trade-offs between independence and community.