Photo: Nafula Sharleen/ Facebook
Many Kenyans dreaming of life abroad often imagine freedom and opportunity, but the reality of living solo in the United States can be strikingly different.
Social isolation, strict independence, and unseen routines shape daily life, revealing cultural contrasts that challenge assumptions about what it means to “make it” abroad.
US-based Kenyan businesswoman and nurse, Nafula Sharleen, has sparked conversations online after detailing the social and cultural realities of life in the United States, highlighting how different it is from the communal living experiences common in Kenya.
In a candid Facebook post, Sharleen shared her observations about isolation, independence, and personal responsibility for those living solo in the US.
She noted that, “Dry spell na social isolation ni real majuu… Msee kama unaishi solo, utaboeka peke yako kwa nyumba mpaka uanze ku hug fridge yako huko,” jokingly referring to how people living alone can spend long periods without social interaction.
Sharleen described the contrast between different housing setups, explaining that neighbors rarely interact in middle- to high-income apartments.
“Hata kwa apartments unapata wasee hawajuani. Ukiona uko kwa apartment, na majirani wanakuongelesha ujue uko middle to low income apartments,” she said, adding that wealthier apartment residents often avoid noise or unnecessary social interactions.
The Kenyan nurse also shared a striking example of extreme isolation: a man named Robert Alton whose body reportedly remained undiscovered in his apartment for six years, despite paying rent and bills through automatic payments.
Sharleen used this example to illustrate how, unless prompted by emergencies or landlords, individuals living alone can go unnoticed for extended periods.
Beyond isolation, Sharleen highlighted the independence and personal responsibility culture in the US.
“Hapa unaeza ishi alone, upige mboka, retire, unanyuria na uzikwe bila family involvement,” she wrote, pointing out that unlike in Kenya, adults are expected to handle their lives without family intervention, from rent to funeral arrangements.
She also noted the absence of “black tax,” explaining that parents are responsible for raising their children until adulthood, after which financial independence is expected.
Sharleen further reflected on her own experiences sending support to her family in Kenya.
She said, “Mimi nikituma doo za kusupport family yangu for 7yrs before… walami walikuwa wanaona nimechizi,” illustrating the cultural differences in expectations of family support between Kenya and the US.